It's not easy being green

So I'm playing Disney Trivia, featured on this chat room every Tuesday night at 9pm EST (Be there, tell 'em Pygmy sent you!) and one of the players mentioned about this guy who works at Disney that is devilishly handsome, quick witted and funny, and has a killer smile, and wears green. Wait a sec, does this girl know she's talking about me? Have we met before? I am freaking out right about now, up until when she gives a link to a video featuring this man of many talents.



This is the video posted in the chat room. Go ahead, watch it. I'll wait . . .

So did you see the video? Was he devilishly handsome, quick with the wit and charm, and was he wearing green? Why yes, of course! But we didn't mention anything about the jungle, and never did I think that Peter Pan would be so popular. Really, c'mon now, he's just a grown up dude with some serious issues that we'd like to call the Michael Jackson syndrome and thinks he's still a kid. Not just any kid, but a kid that plays with swords and fights pirates, and makes out with mermaids and indian girls. Ok, maybe this guy hasn't lost his marbles, but that's beside the point. How the heck does this guy get so popular? How does he have so many videos? I'd like to have random girls come up and ask me to marry them, but that never happens. Usually, if they do talk to me, it's to get me to stop telling my lame jokes or they'll mention if I have something in my nose, that's it.

After watching several of these videos with this guy flirting with all those girls, even Alice, I've noticed something . . . I need a hat with a feather in it. Then the ladies will like me, and I'll finally get some mermaid action.